Castle Walls

“Everyone thinks that I have it all
But it’s so empty living behind these castle walls
These castle walls
If I should tumble if I should fall
Would any one hear me screaming behind these castle walls
There’s no-one here at all, behind these castle walls”
– Castle Walls, T.I. featuring Christina Aguilera

I live for the weekends. It’s mostly Saturday’s that I like the most. Mostly I go over to my grandparents house for lunch with mom and Emily. We’ve always done this since I was a teenager or younger. I can’t really remember how far back it goes. We always had fun whether it was arguing back and forth or just laughing our butts off about crazy shit. It didn’t matter, but since with the family drama that happened it hasn’t been the same. My mom also got another job. So I’m at home all the time. Sometimes I’m fine with it and then there’s days where I want to be anywhere but there. I’ve stopped complaining about it because of my parents. I feel bad for making them feel bad. I say I’m greatful for Twitter and my blog for a reason. It gives me a reason to escape somewhat. Then I have music which hardly does the trick anymore. I’ve stopped expecting people to help me get out once in awhile. I’ve stopped talking to a bunch of people who use to give me lots of joy in my life and I’ve just stopped everything that had to deal with them. Which is good for me. Because I guess it shows they were never here for me at all. Only when they were comfortable I guess.