I envy the ones who can really dance. Who have went to school for dance all their lives and the ones who complain how their feet hurt 24/7 because of how much hard work they’ve put into the routine and jumps. I’m writing a sad post on my good day. Sounds like me actually. I have the heart of a dancer and envy every single one of them when I watch them dance. I hate not having the strength to keep my balance of my body to stand up.
I’ve walked before. In walkers, but never on my own two feet. Somebody’s always been there to held me up and guide me through it. I love dance! I love dance more than music. Dancers move to the beat , but sometimes they create routines without music playing and go from there. I wish I could do graceful lifts and spin around in tutu and different costumes. I don’t think I’ll ever get my wish to dance for real or not. I’d love to learn to slow dance because I have never done that before and I always get jealous when I see couples dancing together. Even though sometimes it sickens me I actually do want to slow dance.
When I was in high school, the basketball games were my favorite time ever. Because our school dance team would perform at halftime. It was usually the highlight of my light. Unless the performance sucked then it wasn’t. I use to say you couldn’t dance to rock music unless you were a stripper. Depending on the song and lyrics anybody could dance to it. Since Dancing With The Stars will be starting soon, I will begin to have my dancing dreams again at night. I live for those dreams even though I’ll never get any sleep that night but at least I’ll have those dreams to make me happy. And yet sad at the same time. Only in my dreams.
I get [so emotional] at times. I’m a girl, it happens a lot. I’ve been [blessed] with the things I have. But it’s so [obvious] that I won’t find love of my own like everybody else. They always say [love will find a way]. Really? Apparently my [reflection] shows a different story. I want to be [somebody’s somebody] that’s [what a girl wants] especially this girl. Where’s my favorite song [genie in a bottle] by [CHRISTINA AGUILERA] at?
[I’m ok] with rejection. Always have actually. People can [walk away] from you so fast that sometimes you wouldn’t notice they were gone. I want someone to [love me for me] isn’t that so hard to ask? It’s [impossible] to find Mr. Right where I’m from. Everybody says I’m [beautiful] but [the voice within] tells me another story. I’d to [soar] over the sky and find some place new and be a [fighter] in my own right. I hate feeling [underappreciated]. So I continue to [keep singing my song] while you continue your [dirty] thoughts for the pretty girl. Since she’s [STRIPPED].
[Ain’t no other man] for me now. It actually [makes me wanna play] because [back in the day] that’s all I wanted was to be in a relationship. The single me is [here to stay] and if anybody decides to [enter the circus] well then have [mercy on me]. [Welcome] to my life. If you’re a [nasty naughty boy] well looks like [I got trouble]. I hope you don’t [hurt] me. If you [save me from myself] then I’d [understand] you are [the right man] for me. Because I’m a [BACK TO BASICS] kind of girl.
You have to be careful though. [I am] kind of a [Prima Donna]. You don’t have a clue of the girl I am. I am definitely [not myself tonight] but I don’t even know my normal self. [All I need] is to feel loved. If you don’t treat me right [my girls] will show you not to do that again. [I hate boys] so better not act like one. If [you lost me] once then you never get me back. Our love won’t be like [elestic love]. No matter how hard you try. I’m [stronger than ever]. Hell, I’m even [BIONIC!]
I am [Anything But Ordinary]. [My World] is a [complicated] one. Sometimes I’m [unwanted] by people I thought were friends with me. There are [things I’ll never say] because of my own being, but I am [losing grip] on everything I’ve ever wanted. [Tomorrow] might be the best day I’ll ever have but yet it may not. [I’m With You] in spirit and [mobile] but that never helps me anymore. Maybe I should just [LET GO]
I tend to [freak out] about the little things. You [don’t tell me] anything about your life anymore. What happened to [my happy ending]? You [slipped away] from me. Which I don’t regret at all. [Nobody’s home] now to answer your text messages anything. [Who knows] we might be friends again, but I gotta do some changing first. So [how does it feel] to be [forgotten?] Not fun is it? I [fall to pieces] all the time watching the clock tick away and you’re still not with me. I wish someone would [take me away] because this is getting [UNDER MY SKIN!]
Now that I’m out of school [I don’t have to try] to be [one of those girls]. [I can do better] than I’ve done lately, but the sadness is still there. You have a have another [girlfriend] and [keep holding on] to a friendship that is starting to fade. [When you’re gone] I know we won’t see each other for a few months. [I will be] fine and my [innocence] starts to show again. Our craziness was [contagious] It was [THE BEST DAMN THING] ever!
[What the hell]? I [smile] at you but you don’t say anything about hanging out? [Darlin] you don’t have a clue how much I want a night out. The text messages saying, “we need to hang out” are [not enough]. I [wish you were here] so you could read this and understand. I [push] for independence but no use. [Everybody hurts] when they’re best friends are busy with other things. Well this is my crumbling frienship, and I just wanted to say [I love you] and I’m going to play my [GOODBYE LULLABY].